Classification: Public // Effective: December 2025
Attention, soldier! By accessing or using Suburban Siege (“the Service”), you agree to be bound by these Articles of Engagement. If you do not agree, you must retreat immediately and find entertainment elsewhere. These terms are non-negotiable, like the Colonel's mustache wax preferences.
Article 1: Acceptance of Terms
By using Suburban Siege, you confirm that:
- You are at least 13 years old (or the minimum age in your jurisdiction)
- You understand this is a satirical entertainment service
- You will not use the service for any unlawful purpose
- You accept these terms and our Privacy Policy
Article 2: Nature of the Service
Suburban Siege is a satirical entertainment platform that generates humorous fictional content about Australian suburbs. You acknowledge that:
- All “defense plans,” “battles,” and “threat assessments” are fictional comedy
- The service uses AI to generate satirical content based on suburb stereotypes
- No actual military operations, invasions, or conflicts are encouraged or endorsed
- Content is meant to celebrate Australian culture through self-deprecating humour
- We do not promote actual hostility between neighbourhoods or communities
Article 3: Rules of Engagement
When using Suburban Siege, you agree NOT to:
- Use the service to harass, threaten, or defame real individuals
- Submit content that is genuinely hateful, discriminatory, or harmful
- Attempt to bypass security measures or abuse the API
- Use automated systems to overwhelm or exploit the service
- Misrepresent generated content as genuine military planning
- Actually invade your neighbour's suburb (seriously, don't)
Article 4: Content & IP
Your Content
When you submit suburb intel or other content, you grant us a license to use, display, and incorporate it into the service. You retain ownership but give us permission to make it part of the Suburban Siege experience.
Our Content
The Suburban Siege name, design, and original content are our intellectual property. AI-generated content (plans, battles, roasts) may be shared for personal and non-commercial purposes with attribution.
AI Content
Content is generated by Claude (Anthropic). We don't guarantee accuracy, and the AI may occasionally produce unexpected results. That's part of the charm.
Article 5: Disclaimers
THE SERVICE IS PROVIDED “AS IS” WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND.
- We don't guarantee the service will always be available or error-free
- AI-generated content may be inaccurate, inappropriate, or just weird
- Suburb stereotypes are exaggerated for comedy—don't take them literally
- We're not responsible for any offence taken by thin-skinned residents
- Following any “defense plan” in real life would be extremely unwise
Article 6: Limitation of Liability
To the maximum extent permitted by law:
- We are not liable for any indirect, incidental, or consequential damages
- Our total liability is limited to the amount you've paid us (likely $0)
- We're not responsible for third-party services (Google, GitHub, Anthropic)
- Australian Consumer Law rights are not affected by these terms
Article 7: Termination
We may terminate or suspend your access at any time, without notice, for:
- Violating these terms or our community guidelines
- Abusing the service or other users
- Any other reason we deem necessary to protect the service
You may also delete your account at any time through your dashboard settings.
Article 8: Governing Law
These terms are governed by the laws of Australia. Any disputes will be resolved in the courts of Australia. We hope it never comes to that—let's keep the conflict fictional, yeah?
Standing Orders
We may update these terms from time to time. Significant changes will be announced on the site. Continued use after changes means you accept them. If you disagree with changes, your remedy is to stop using the service.
Questions?
Contact us at legal@suburban-siege.com if you have questions about these terms. We'll respond when the Colonel finishes his afternoon tea.
These terms are effective as of December 2025.
Remember: This is satire. We love all Australian suburbs equally. Even Toorak. Even Swan View. Especially the ones that can take a joke.